i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize