We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures