you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.