Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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