the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
