ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
