I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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