you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
