"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize