Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
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He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
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Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today