There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back