How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices