I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon