Christians are straight up FREAKS
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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