Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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