I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize