In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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