i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home