dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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