the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
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we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
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Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake