So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS