We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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