i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
