I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
