I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
