So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
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I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
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I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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