maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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