Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you will always have a special place in my vag
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize