My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
