I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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