I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize