he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
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Damn victory sex feels great
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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