i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
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All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
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Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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