my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
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Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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