i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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