I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
