We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.