i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
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Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
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I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD