We won't sleep together?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
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Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
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This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed