that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies