This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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