Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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