is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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