He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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