I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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