...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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