He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize