As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
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She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
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Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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