everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
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just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
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Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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