i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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