I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize