And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize