The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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