I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
