I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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