So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
only you would photoshop your dick
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
