I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
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We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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