Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
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dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
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I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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