Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize