I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize